Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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