You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
