I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
