i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize