listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize