You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
