Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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