Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
