accomplished twins. life is a go
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
