I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
