if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
