like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
