Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
