It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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