Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
