Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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