I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Randomize
