is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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