I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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