I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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