she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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