In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
