You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
