You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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