I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
