you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
