Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
