My room smells like vodka and shame
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
