I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
