you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
