Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
