im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
