if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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