need another drink. this is the easiest way
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
now i know why i became what i already was.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
