capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
