sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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