Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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