Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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