This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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