I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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