:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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