I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
