I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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