i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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