is wine microwaveable?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
