Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
