Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
