My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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