Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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