is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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