He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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