so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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