AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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