I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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