I wannas sexs uuuuu
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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