We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm always down for nudity.
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