this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
