pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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