Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
