Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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