dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
