I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm always down for nudity.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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