Pants 0. Shit 1.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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