last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
