I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
