Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
