Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
