we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
