Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
A+ Viking dick
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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