Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
