It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
