its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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