did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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